Elvis

This movie has the wrong title. 

This isn’t ELVIS but instead, Col. Tom Parker Presents: Elvis. 

The flick opens with 10 minutes of what I can only describe as Director Baz Lurhmann doing a Luhrmann.

Crazy moving cameras, twisty shots, breaking up the screen into multiple images to give you a sense of several things happening at the same time. If you are familiar with Lurhmann you know what this is like. 

I think it worked in Moulin Rouge. 

But I almost didn’t make it to the other side this in Elvis. The crazy camera moves nearly gave me motion sickness. 

Thankfully the whole thing calms down and Lurhmann seems content to mostly tell you a straitforward story about Elvis Presley. 

But here we have our second problem. This straightforward story is told from the perspective of Parker, Elvis’ manager who exploited him, stole from him and possibly caused his death by hooking him up with a quack doctor who gave him the pills that led to his death at 44. 

Of all the characters to tell this story he’s not the one I want to hear from. And then Tom Hanks decided to do the whole thing in a weird accent that I presume is meant to be Dutch but is a cross between a fantasy Italian immigrant and Jar Jar Binks. 

“He’s got ta doa the songa about Santi Claas,” is a line a co-worker keeps saying to me. 

Anyway, in real life, Parker apparently spoke with a southern accent. All I can think is that Hanks still has scars from playing Foghorn Leghorn in one of the worst Coen Brothers movies and didn’t want to do that again. 

Since this is a movie and not a documentary I don’t know why Hanks just didn’t do it in his normal voice. Maybe he thought no one would believe the villain was a villain if he sounded like normal Hanks? 

Aside from villain voice, I have only a few other small complaints. Please join me while I list them in no particular order. 

Luhrmann depicts the musical influences that created Elvis by having him literally running from a juke joint to a church revival as a child. And I know it’s movie symbolism but it just made me throw up my hands and yell, “nonsense” to the heavens. 

Another moment is when Elvis has a creative meeting about leaving Hollywood and refocusing on his music career under the decaying Hollywood sign. 

“See, he’s leaving Hollywood! Get it!” 

Ugh. 

Finally, I know Elvis wasn’t a songwriter but the movie skips all of those scenes where the young artist perfects their music, writes their songs, gets ready for the big fight, etc. 

Instead of Ray Charles writing a tune or Johnny Cash baring his soul in the studio we get Elvis on stage being told the girls are losing it because he is shaking his hips. 

That’s a big part of the story. I can’t deny it. His motion below the ocean was scandalous at the time and a white guy doing “black music” in the way Elvis did it scared every racist adult in the country.

But, I dunno man, he was also one of the greatest singers and bandleaders of all time. Was there nothing there we could also showcase? 

There’s one small moment where he and the band are preparing for the Vegas shows and it hits some familiar sounds and that gave me chills. 

But the tragedy of this movie is that may be the only moment like that in a two-and-a-half-hour flick. Instead, there is a ton of focus on Tom Parker.

Elvis affectionately calls him the Snowman because he is the master of The Snow Job. Which the movie explains is when a carnival barker makes a bunch of money and the audience leaves happy even if they were kinda, sorta, conned. 

And yeah, Elvis had more than a few snow jobs in his career. The movie claims that Parker sold both “I love Elvis” and “I hate Elvis” buttons. And it shows a ton of Elvis merchandise that Parker apparently got going. 

At times the movie and Elvis praise Parker for his deal-making skills. Elvis clearly never lacked for anything even if Parker was taking half of the proceeds most of the time. 

And the movie shows that Elvis, for whatever reason, couldn’t break away from Parker and be adult enough to take control of his finances and his health. 

Elvis fans like to blame Parker for some of the bad creative and life choices Elvis made.

This movie suggests that Elvis would have spoken up against segregation and institutional racism if Parker had not been around. Elvis wanted to be James Dean but Parker put him in the silly sing-along flicks. 

And it seems his greatest sin, according to Luhrmann, was keeping Elvis out of A Star is Born. I have to agree that might have been great. It also might have been a bomb with Elvis instead of Kris Kristofferson. Nobody knows anything. 

One of the biggest conflicts is Elvis’ desire to go on an international tour. But Parker blocks it with a Vegas residency that lasts years. The movie tells us that Parker can’t get a passport and that’s why he shuts the tour down. 

But all I could think was, “This is a grown man with a family who can’t tell his manager he’s going to do what he wants?” 

It might be true but it isn’t where I wanted to spend my time. 

Anyway, Austin Butler is amazing as The King. Despite all my gripes, the movie races along with a decent and fun bio-story and the songs are all classics. 

This movie isn’t a snow job but it should have been a masterpiece. Sadly, this is a long residency in Vegas instead of an International Tour.