Bullet Train

Bullet Train is no The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974) but it is worlds better than The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009).

Which is to say that it’s on the same level of Snowpiercer (2013) and way better than the Snowpiercer tv show.

Ultimately, it’s a movie that wants to please you and never wants you to take too much of its movie violence or its super killers on a train action plot too seriously.

Brad Pitt plays an assassin who describes himself as having monumental bad luck and talks like he just finished three or four self-help books. As an actor, it’s clear that he’s having a lot of fun bumming around and pretending to be Jackie Chan.

Pitt delivering “That’s a shit deal,” made me cackle.

Brian Tyree Henry once again owns every scene, this time as a hitman who is obsessed with Thomas the Train. Why? Cause it’s a story on a train and the Thomas mythos is flexible enough for the plot and the actors to give you a giggle. One killer calling another killer “a Diesel” as a way to describe the depths of their evil will either make you smile or it won’t.

Everyone else gets to show up for a scene or two, play kill or be killed, and get off the train.

Director David Leitch and screenwriter Zak Olkeqicz keep everything rolling along so that you won’t think about all the ways none of this makes sense. One of my favorite running bits is that the movie just switches tracks every few minutes or so to explain some bit of backstory that you are going to need to understand the next action sequence.

It might be too much digression, and I can’t argue that it might have taken the joke exactly one water bottle too far. But there is a decent, over-the-top revenge story here too.

Bullet Train is based on a novel by Kōtarō Isaka but when I saw it was based on a book I assumed it would be a Manga because Bullet Train has the colorful look and feel of a Japanese comic. Ignore the fact that most Manga is in black and white and go with me here.

It looks good, though there is perhaps a bit too much neon because that’s how the movies color code modern Japan.

One of my favorite little movie trivia things is that there are two Quentin Tarantino movie universes. There is the “real world” (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction) and there is the “movie world” (Kill Bill, Inglorious Basterds). The movie world is made up of films that Tarantino’s other characters would go watch on a Friday night at the cinema.

And Bullet Train is a movie Tarantino’s characters would enjoy and then dissect over coffee and pie.

Mr. Brown: Let me tell you what Bullet Train is about.

Mr. White: Is that the one with Mathau?

Mr. Brown: That’s Pelham 123.

Mr. Blonde: Robert Shaw is perfect in that.

Mr. White: Best bad guy outside of Lee Marvin.

Mr. Brown: That’s not what we’re talking about.

Mr. White: What were we talking about?

Mr. Blonde: I was telling you about Bullet Train.

Mr. White: The Brad Pitt thing?

Mr. Blonde: Yeah.

Mr. White: I seen it. I give it a B.