Past Lives

This is a movie that declines anything resembling a Hollywood hook. 

Audiences will find neither a broad comedy, a horror or a a special effects spectacle. Instead, it’s about a woman navigating her life, rationalizing her decisions and dealing with the emotional fallout of her choices. 

It’s romantic, a little, and deals honestly with the immigrant experience of a Korean woman who immigrated to Canada as a child and is trying to make it in America. 

I figured I would be the only one in my theater to show up. But a young couple (possibly teenagers) sat a few rows behind me. So, it was just the three of us grappling with writer/director Celine Song’s film.

In the first section of the movie shows us Nora and Hae Sung who have a puppy-like hand-holding romance at 12. 

12 years later they find each other over the newly formed Facebook. They are worlds apart but still connected. And they begin to speak every day and share their lives with each other. 

And then, spoilers, they essentially break up. Neither will leave their career behind to move across the country for the other. Each of them say it will be a year before they could even get their heads above water enough to get on the same continent. 
Nora (Greta Lee) tells Hae Sung (Teo Yoo) she needs some space. Then, she meets Arthur, marries him and moves to New York City.

The movie shifts again to 12 years later. Hae Sung comes to New York City to visit. Nora agrees to spend a few days with him. They have deep and meaningful connection, still. But Nora is married. Hae Sung allegedly has a girlfriend (although the movie never shows her and I think she does not exist). Arthur is a good guy and a good husband. Although, I’m docking points because he apparently wrote a book called Boner. 

Arthur and Nora have a conversation in bed that many couples will recognize. It’s the, “Why are you with me conversation.”

Why me, why is, why now, why here? 

If this were a story, Arthur explains, Hae and Nora would run off together. Nora makes a joke, explaining how this couldn’t be possible. She would never leave her work. 

Instead of anything resembling emotional pyrotechnics everyone involved has a series of conversations. Each of them deep, meaningful and carefully considered. 

No one wants to hurt anyone, no one wants to be hurt. 

The ending is inevitable but the movie suggests something, in an alley, in its final scene. Nora never says a word, it’s all done in looks. It’s the best bit of acting I’ve seen this year. 

And then it’s over. 

From behind me I heard one of the kids say, “Is that it?” 

But to me it was more than enough. I was locked into every moment and couldn’t look away. 

And here’s what I want to say to you. If you are young watch this movie. Give it a chance. I know it’s not the usual fare. Then I want you to watch it again in 12 years. 

I’m in my 40s and I felt every emotional choice, every conversation and every tear. But what will it feel like when I watch it again in my 60s? 

You can’t enter the same river twice. And people change so much, so quickly in some ways. 

And sometimes we remain completely the same. The people we were when we were 12 or 24 or 36 are still there. Our past lives moving with us through the years.