Ferrari

If you caught me in the right moment in the last 20 years you probably heard my Michael Mann rant. 

It’s long and I won’t go into it a whole bunch here but essentially he’s a director that I do not enjoy. 

Annnnnddd, anytime I did it people just started yelling at me. As well they probably should because on a technical level Mann is one of the great Hollywood directors from the last 50 years. 

People would just start screaming, ‘Heat! How can you not like Heat?!” 

And folks, I am that guy. I’ve softened on Heat over the years but I still think it’s a waste of the first DeNiro/Pacino collaboration. I also think The Insider is a perfect movie but that’s the exception that proves the rule and I’m just not going to give you Mann as a maker of great films. 

Well, to be fair, he is a maker of great films he’s just a maker of great films in which I personally get very little joy from watching.  

Ferrari is another perfect example of all of my problems. Watching Ferrari I sank in my seat and realized, “Oh shit, this is Ali all over again.” 

In case you missed it, in 2001 Mann made a movie about the most charismatic sports figures in the 20th century, with one of the most charismatic actors of the 20th century and he turned in a boring movie about the time Ali was kept away from boxing for political reasons. 

I mean, what is the one thing you want to see in a movie about Muhammad Ali? A bunch of boxing. Just a ton of boxing. Instead, it’s a movie about everything except boxing. 

Sooooo, if you go to a movie called Ferrari what’s the one thing you want to see? Well, I hope it was a interior drama about a rich guy who is mourning one child while dealing with his current wife, his secret child from his mistress and some minor business issues. 

Cause if you wanted to see how he built his company, cool behind the scenes racing stuff or anything remotely resembling a car movie you have come to the wrong place. 

Meanwhile, Penelope Cruz is the truth, Adam Driver delivers some solid work and Shailene Woodley takes a meager role and invests life into it. 

I’ll just admit that I’m the problem. I want Mann to deliver things (a strong narrative and intriguing dialogue) that he’s honestly not ever shown the slightest bit of interest in doing. No one but me ever, ever wanted anything out of Miami Vice other than for the characters to look cool while driving around doing nothing. 

Sooner or later you have to admit that you are Charlie Brown running at Lucy’s football even though you should absolutely know better. 

His movies always look amazing but every time I watch one I’m reminded that there’s nothing there.